Do you ever feel like everyone is getting rich in the stock market except you? That you'll never get out of debt? That you'll be 100 before you can afford to retire? That your spouse will never understand financial responsibility?
You're not alone. Psychologists are so aware of the widespread financial anxiety, as a matter of fact, an entire industry is springing up in its name.
Especially in marriage, all anxieties pale in comparison to the real source of contention: money. Couples cover every other base, from kids to religion, but rarely break out the checkbook before saying I DO, which makes for some hairy lifestyle surprises down the line. Hourders/highflyers, savers/spenders, guilty spenders/prestige mongers... there can be some scarry combinations putting couples on a tightrope of sanity.

Whether single or hitched, there are techniques to put money in its proper place. One way is by putting your finances on the computer. Either Quicken or Microsoft Money will allow you to integrate every penny from bill paying to investing. Laid out on the screen, you'll have a clear picture. Things probably won't be as bad as you thought, and for couples, it will be in black and white in front of you - nothing ambiguous to fight about.

Another important step is to set financial goals. Either alone or together, it's never too early to make a retirement target date, plan a special purchase or a vacation. It will be easier to agree, and adhere to, the behaviors needed to get you there. This is also a way to put a price tag on what is most important to you. What are the goals you're truly willing to work for?

Another technique is to get to the bottom of what money means to you. Does it signify security for you? Are there hidden emotional needs involved? Is it intrinsically linked with popularity or success? Just a tool to reach goals or do you have to admit to a high level of financial irrationality?

Last, but not least, don't forget about a good old budget. Yours could probably use some revamping. Remember, just the facts maam', because money isn't all emotion - it's cold, hard numbers, too. You can also make a money emergency list, sources you could get to in an absolute pinch. A second mortgage, nighttime waitressing, your mother-in-law...? The possibilities will be comforting and your back-up zone wider than you probably realized.

Finally, make a list of the people you admire most. How many of them are rich? The character traits you would most like to emulate probably aren't financial. This will help to separate your money from yourself. Your balance isn't who you are, simply a tool to get where you're going.